Hallo, freund! Was kann ich für dich tun?

cooljaku:

that post going around about how morticians have to snap boners bc of rigor mortis is false. rigot mortis goes away after a couple of days. you dont need to snap the peen  . like you can i guess. maybe its fun

DO NOT. SNAP. THE PEEN.

sulidaesy:

Please watch this 3 second clip from an actual George Washington documentary.

kittleimp:

middleschoolhumor:

doctorhotmail:

middleschoolhumor:

the first week with your new haircut is supposed to be when it is at its most kickass and here i fucking am with gross sick person bedhead

huh

usually my hair is at its best the last few weeks before a haircut

solution: always cut your hair and it will always be “that time before the haircut”

I think you and Zoe aren’t actually sick, you totally are just sitting around playing video games.

The meme queen has arrived

The meme queen has arrived

none of you have found my rp blog yet

maythefoxbewithyou:

He took a drink of my lemonade and then got mad because it was sour. Took it out on me!